I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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