i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
you made out with another girl for some wings
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
