Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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