just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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