the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
