somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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