farters have to be the big spoon...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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