Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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