I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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