road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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