I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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