It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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