I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
