I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
