You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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