There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
