I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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