What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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