just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
