i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
