so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
