marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
