i think i have two assholes
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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