My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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