Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
