i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
