omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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