I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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