We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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