singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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