if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
