i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
