some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I came so hard my ears popped.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
