He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
