Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
