Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
