I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
