OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
