and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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