How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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