Christians are straight up FREAKS
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this boner is exhausting
Semen is not good for contacts.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
