I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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