Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His hands were made for my vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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