the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
