All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
