In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
