talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
