i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize