Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize