wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
