erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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