Sponge bath it is.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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