youre lurking in front of me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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