Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
