chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
