Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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