I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
