Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
