Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
