She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
