I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
