How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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