Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
