how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
