im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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