I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
