I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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