Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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