The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize