Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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