If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
