grandma shit on top of the toilet
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
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