you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
