If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
