Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
