That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
