you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
